Welcome to Decadent Dalliances. It is run and operated by K. and M. and we both wanted to take a second to talk about what led us to starting this blog.
“But what will you talk about at cocktail parties?” This was the first thing my mother asked me when I blurted out that I was starting a business with my best friend, selling sex toys to women online. An odd initial reaction, but bless her heart, she was trying as hard as she could to not be openly judgemental.
She and I were having an earnest discussion about my career and what I would do for money. I was frustrated and trying to explain that I don’t want another desk job where I help make some faceless CEO and his shareholders wealthy, while I struggle not to kill myself out of sheer boredom (I wish that was more hyperbolic than it is). If I’m working my ass off, I want to directly see the fruits of my labor. I want to be in an industry that I’m passionate about, that’s exciting and interesting, and I don’t want a manager encouraging me to bleed every last penny out of their consumers while trying to convince me that it’s in the customer’s best interest to overspend on goods and services they don’t really need.
My passion? It turns out, it’s women (another awkward conversation my mom and I had not long ago, when she met my girlfriend. That woman is a trooper). I don’t know why that was such a revelation for me, I was practically a women and gender studies major in college and I’m gay, so all the clues were already there, waiting to be pieced together into brilliant, Thomas Kinkade dildo-inspired puzzle.
For a long time, there was a running joke about how many times I changed majors. Though my indecision started even younger than that. At 4 I wanted to become President of the United States. At 5 I wanted to be a “garbageman” (there’s a political joke in there somewhere, but I’m going to be a classy lady and leave it to the reader’s imagination). While neither of those dreams came true, the older I got the more it bothered me that I couldn’t settle on any idea. I’d find something and for a short period of time, get super excited about it and be dead set that I had finally found the right choice. Realism? Shut up, I’m dreaming! Ain’t nobody got time for that!
But when push came to shove and the realities of my newest career aspirations set in, I would get cold feet and back out. That fun, amazing job I had built up in my mind suddenly seemed awful. The realities of the schooling, the customers and the sheer amount of bullshit that is unique to most industries turned me off to ever jumping in. The older I got, the more disillusioned I became. My career became less about what would fulfill and excite me and became more about pragmatism. After all, as an adult it’s drilled into you that dreams don’t pay the bills, so sober up and find something. Anything. You get a job that you don’t hate (immediately) and that pays you an acceptable wage, come home and do it all again tomorrow. And then you die. Or so I assumed the cycle went.
Sound bleak? That’s how I felt. I started to struggle with depression. What was the point, if every day was about going to a job you hate in order to scrape together enough money to try and have a life in whatever time is gifted to you by your employer? I became the manager of a bank, bringing home a steady paycheck from a respectable job. The problem was, I hated every second of it. I craved purpose and engagement. I longed to feel like what I did each day made a difference to more than the pocketbooks of my employers. I want to make the world a better place, goddammit! But what to do?
So we decided that we should start our own business and get the hell out of corporate America. After all, we’d been talking about starting a business together for years, but it never seemed like a practical idea. So we created a list of potential startups and started going through them. Our throwaway idea of selling sex toys for women became the only business plan we had any interest in talking about. We realized that we needed to care about what we were doing professionally. And you know what both of us care deeply about?
Women. Their rights, health, sexuality and really, just about everything else. Let’s be real. Most of us like to come. Like, a lot. We know we do! And we both have several things in our nightstands to facilitate that and we’re saving our pennies to get more.
We don’t know if you’ve spent a lot of time shopping for “marital aids” (ugh, what a terrible term) on the internet, but even on the sites for some of the more well known companies, you still kind of feel like you’re going to get a porn pop-up and a virtual STI. Almost all of the models in the advertisements look like adult movie stars and the majority of marketing seems targeted towards men. Then if you pop over to Amazon to try and avoid that back-room-creepiness, you get inundated with page after page of virtually the same object. It can be nice if you know what item you want and simply are looking to compare prices or read some reviews, but if you just want to browse what’s new and neat in the world of orgasms, it can be overwhelming.
So that’s why we created DecadentDevices.com. We wanted a comfortable place online for women to purchase their sexy products. While dildos are super fun, the product wasn’t even the part we got the most excited about. We want to educate women about their bodies and their sexuality. We want women to know how to properly care for their vaginas, which is a surprisingly common problem! Why aren’t women as intimately familiar with their bodies as men are? How come more women don’t know that the G-Spot is actually just part of the clitoral organ? Why did no one tell us our vaginas are self-cleaning?? We both figured that out in our mid twenties! Not only is there a baffling amount of misinformation about women, their bodies and especially their sexuality, but women are almost discouraged from discussing these topics candidly with one another.
That’s why we’ve decided to collect stories from real women, whether it’s mood disorders, sexuality, hormonal imbalances, sex after childbirth, we want it all! So that’s what this place is going to be, a collection of real women’s stories. And we’ll be honest with you, we are absolutely going to be using this blog to try and to market for DecadentDevices.com. We’re not going to pretend that this blog and our store are two separate entities and try to subtly coerce traffic and sales. We wanted to be completely upfront and honest with our readers. Do you have to buy a sex toy to enjoy our blog? Absolutely not! Should you? Yes! But that’s mostly because we believe everyone should have more orgasms. For health and pleasure.
So strap in (or strap-on)! We are delighted to bring you Decadent Dalliances, the sister site to DecadentDevices.com. Read some stories about women, share your own, and feel free to pick up a vibrator while you’re at it.
K. and M.
P.S. While we are not at all ashamed to be running these sites, we have chosen to go by our first initials only so that friends and family will not be accidentally associated with our sites, should they decide to get into politics or some such thing. We hope you’ll forgive us, we just want to be considerate to the people in our lives.