What the Hell Does This Size Mean?!

angry shirt rippingWritten by M:

I’m so angry and I need to tell you all about it. This may become known as Part 1. I don’t know yet, but I’m very pissed off and I’m especially angry that it took me so long to get this upset.

So what am I so mad about? Women’s clothes. From the arbitrary sizing, to the terrible proportions, to the lack of functional pockets. Plus size? Hahahaha! You can have a handful of stores to choose from. On a budget? Fuck you, you have to pay more. Get it? Because you’re fat (and don’t even give me that horseshit about how they use more fabric. That’s pennies on the dollar and I don’t see a price difference between an XS and XL in a standard store). Every part of the industry is full of crazy bullshit that we’ve all grown so accustomed to we don’t even think of calling “Shenanigans” on the whole facade.

Let’s take it one thing at a time.

Sizing. What the hell is a size 2? A size 10? 24? Who knows? Better check every single brands’ size chart and try on everything. Why? We use an arbitrary sizing system that changes from by brand and designer, based on what they think will sell best. Guys pants are so simple! Waistband measurement plus inseam. Boom. Done. All of the brands are the same. You measure yourself and aside from cut options, you know the pants will fit. But if that’s too goddamn hard for the poor fashion industry, then can we AT LEAST all agree on what our random sizes fucking mean?

And don’t get me started on the SHAPE of clothes. As a woman who has ranged from a size 8 – 10 at smallest and 26W at my largest, the shape of women’s clothes doesn’t seem to make any sense either. I am, what many would consider, a “normal” shaped women (even though fuck whoever decided what a “normal” woman is shaped like.) I have moderately large breasts, a narrow waist and some powerful hips. I have a classic hourglass figure (no matter how much sand that hourglass may have, if you follow). Yet finding pants has always been a nightmare. Want them to fit in the hips? Here, have some baggy legs to round out the look. Do they fit in the legs? Enjoy some muffin top. Then trying to balance high cut and low cut, where it never seems to fit the waist and hips at the same time. What the hell? The only thing I can think is that they only design the clothes based on their size 0 models and scale them up, assuming that every goddamn woman on this planet is shaped the same way, regardless of size. It’s literally the only thing that makes a lick of sense at this point.

And can we talk for a minute about plus-size fashion options? I know, society thinks that plus-sized women are gross, unattractive, unappealing, lazy swamp monsters. But we’re still women dammit! And since you clearly don’t want to see us naked (which I’ve very seriously considered when I’ve lost my damn mind shopping for clothes), why do so few stores offer plus sized clothes, especially for women ages 18 – 35?

I’m overweight, not someone’s Grandmother. I do not want to wear a moo-moo (at least in public). I want to go out to the bar with my friends and look stunning. I want cute, casual clothes that are actually flattering and attractive. I want gorgeous formal wear. I want a variety of sharp business clothes. News flash! Overweight women like to do all of the same things that smaller women do. And just like smaller women, I prefer not wearing a shapeless burlap sack while doing so!

I know that it’s come a lot further than it used to be. There are stores out there that carry great quality professional clothes and even cute casual clothes. But both formal wear (again, for not Grandma’s.) and sexy/flirty clothes are so difficult to find. And the stores that specialize is plus sized clothing are so expensive. Like this T-Shirt that almost makes it look like you have shape other than potato? It’s $60. Because fuck you, Tubby.

And that’s exactly how it starts to feel. I have had so many times where I thought, “Fuck, I can’t find ANYTHING cute that actually fits me. It’s all so baggy and shapeless. I guess that’s because I’m fat and I should be hiding my body. I’m sure it’s because no one wants to see my gross fatty body.” Because what other message is there to take away from that?

After almost 30 years on this planet, I reject that bullshit. Everyone has the right to wear what makes them comfortable. In the summer, I’m going to wear shorts. And tank tops. And if you don’t like that I’ll slap you in the face with the “bat wing” on my arm from my weight loss.

It’s just so frustrating trying to dress the way that makes me feel good, makes me feel sexy. Or cute. Or whatever the hell I damn well please! I go out shopping with a shiny outlook on life and overflowing self-esteem. Then the selection of clothes available beats me down and sends me limping home with a few more callouses on my soul.

So fuck the fashion industry. Seriously. And I’m cutting myself off for now, but if you guys like this, I’ll certainly write more. I have so many other things that drive me crazy about women’s clothes.

What’s your least favorite thing about the women’s clothing and fashion industry? Share in the comments below!

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